Not only men have the right to choose a prospective wife, but women also have the right to choose a suitable partner for the household they are about to build.

There is a hadith mentioned regarding this matter which was narrated by Abu Hurairah RA that the Prophet SAW said;

A widow should not be married until she is consulted, and a virgin should not be married until her permission is sought. They said: O Messenger of Allah, how is her permission obtained? He said: By her silence.

Meaning: “A widow cannot be married until her permission is asked and a girl cannot be married until her permission is asked.”

The Companions asked: “O Messenger of Allah, what is the permission?”

He replied: “When it is silent.” _{(Hadith narrated by Bukhari, no. 5136)}

Scholars are of the opinion that women who have reached puberty and are intelligent enough to determine between good and bad have the right to choose their prospective husbands or to be asked for permission first before being married.

They cannot be put in a situation of unwillingness or forced marriage. As stated, women must also have criteria for the husband they dream of.

Among the criteria for an ideal husband that need to be taken into account to bring goodness into the household are;

#1 – Understand Religion and Be the Best Imam for the Family

To be the head of a family, you need to have knowledge so that the family you build can be built based on knowledge.

Mastery of religious knowledge must be strong so that the household built can last to heaven.

There is a hadith narrated from Mu'awiyah RA, His Majesty SAW said:

Meaning: "Whoever Allah wants to attain all good, Allah will grant him understanding of religion." _{(Hadith narrated by Bukhari, no. 71)}

#2 – Taking Care of Family Welfare

From Mu'awiyah Al-Qusyairi RA, he asked the Messenger of Allah SAW about the duties of a husband towards his wife, and he replied:

Meaning: “You feed her as you eat. You clothe her as you dress or earn, and you do not hit your wife in the face, nor do you slander her, nor do you scold her (in the form of advice) except at home.” _{(Hadith narrated by Abu Daud, no. 2142. It was deemed authentic by Sheikh Al-Albani)}

#3 – Try to Spend Time With Family

Saidatina 'Aishah once told about the personality of His Majesty SAW when she was with him;

Meaning: “She was once with the Prophet (PBUH) on a journey. 'Aisha then invited the Prophet (PBUH) to race with her and the Prophet (PBUH) was defeated.” _{(Hadith narrated by Abu Daud, no. 2578. It was deemed authentic by Al-Hafizh Abu Tahir)}

Even though your daily schedule and routine are hectic, try to always find time to spend with your family members because family harmony also comes from memories created together.

#4 – Reprimanding Your Wife's Shortcomings With Discretion

If a woman does something wrong or inappropriate, it is the husband's responsibility to reprimand her in a respectful manner.

Don't be left out or take the silent treatment approach because it's better to provide an explanation before it leads to a bigger misunderstanding.

From Abu Hurairah RA, His Majesty SAW said:

Meaning: “A believer should not hate a believing woman. If a man does not like the character and personality of a woman, then he should look at another side that pleases him.” _{(Hadith narrated by Muslim, no. 1469)}

Conclusion

Marriage is a field for collecting rewards and performing acts of worship. The journey of marriage is not for a day or two, but it is a long journey.

So, list the characteristics you desire in your prospective husband who can work together to make the household you build a harmonious family institution filled with His blessings.

Date of Input: 06/08/2026 | Updated: 06/08/2026 | asmunir